Here is a lists of points our teacher made about or First idea, and how we could improve our idea:
- We were trying to tell two stories, we have a character with OCD, and the same character him kidnapps girls, it's too complicated with both stoies
- Our teacher loved the fact we had an OCD character as it is original
- She liked the kitchen scene, with the toaster popping, showing an average day
- She thought if we had an OCD kidnapper then his kidnappings would all have to be OCD, with everything perfect
- She didn't like our location as it was too homely and not the sort of house a person with OCD would live in
- She thought that our 2 minute opening sequence was trying to tell the whole story to the film
- Our teacher said that there was no sense to who's the opposite, what she meant was that there was no one challenging the kidnapper like a detective or a victim that wants to fight back.
- We have changed the location to James house, it is tidier and looks more like a house someone with OCD would live in
- We have kept the kitchen scene
- We have the kept the OCD kidnapper
- Instead off starting with a shot of the kitchen we start with a shot of the kidnapped girl
- A lot less goes on in our scene now to stop us telling the whole story
After getting our feedback we all spoke about it and worked on a new narrative a new loaction and finalised the character. We then proposed again and we were passed allowing us to move on to planning for our shooting weekend. Here's some feeback our teacher gave us after the second proposal
- Loved new locations
- Questioning eyesight from the shed to the house-will it work?
- Perhaps use the exterior of one shed and the interior of the other so we get a good shot from thw window to the house
- Complete transformation-really likes it
- We can now start storyboarding and preparing shooting schedules
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